It seems that in these days dating barely exists. Everyone wants all the sex, a little bit of the emotional support, but none of the commitment. Our culture is very much a hook up culture, which can get a little confusing if you’re trying to land yourself a solid bae.
You might find yourself diving into some sort of an arrangement with the expectation of something a little more, or the expectation of something entirely sexual, only to find out that your partner is on an entirely different page and want’s something completely different out of the relationship.
In this time where we’re more connected than ever, we somehow manage to be more disconnected from one another. It’s more and more difficult to figure out one another’s intentions and desires, which is crucial for successful dating.
Here are a couple tips for surviving hook-up culture
1. Be honest with what you want
Whether if you are more of a hook-up artist or the hopeless romantic, it’s important to be honest about what you’re looking for in a relationship. Once a relationship feels like it’s blurring the lines between friends with benefits and romance you need to sit down and set some boundaries.
Often people are more interested in one night stands than they are friends with benefits, it’s equally as important to set boundaries in these kinds of relationships as well. They are especially important for your sexual health. If you don’t know who else your FWB is sleeping with, if anyone at all, you could be at risk for an STI.
I have found that it’s harder for people who have caught feelings to be honest with their friend with benefits. It’s more important for you to be honest about your feelings – or at least break it off for “personal reasons” if you don’t want to tell them – so that you don’t end up getting hurt in the end. Be good to yourself and do what’s good for you even if that means breaking things off or losing a friendship.
If there is one thing you take away from this article, it’s that you need to communicate. You have got to be honest with the person – or people – you’re sleeping with, which means omitting the truth is not an option.
This is where people get hurt – lack of communication. If you don’t know how to relay your feelings and desires you’re going to get hurt in the long run. If you can ask what you want in bed, you can certainly effectively communicate what you want from a relationship.
Don’t just rely on social media for communication. Talk face to face.
3. Understand that not everyone wants what you want
You might be looking for something completely different than the person you’re ìseeingî, or ìtalking toî, or whatever else you want to call that limbo. Which might mean that things aren’t going to work out the way you want them to. The person you’re fucking on the regular, might really want a serious relationship. The person you’re hanging out with and banging, might be completely satisfied with that sort of arrangement even though you caught feelings weeks ago.
Understand that you might want different things. Communicating and being honest will allow you to find someone who wants what you want and minimize hurt feelings if things don’t work out. But if things don’t work out you can’t get angry. It’s not your fault. It’s not their fault. People are in different places in their lives and need or want different things. Understand this and try not to get angry if things fall apart.
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